abe Funny Status Messages

   texting this fb status right now because someone really annoying just sat across from me and I want to look busy.  

   Turns out Tiger was getting more 'tang than a thirsty astronaut.

   just found out my mom is the 10th mistress to be linked to Tiger Woods.

   Got my first real sex dream, I was 5 at the time. Played it till my fingers bled. It was the summer of 69.

   My anus is the center hole. J. Geils Band. Songs back then really meant something.

   Desperado, you've been outright offensive, for so long now

   Hold me close, young Tony Danza. Old school Elton John. Never gets old.