Trunk Monkey Funny Status Messages

   Since I've never been married I like to refer my Wife Beater simply as a Peter Beater instead.

   Just walked out of Wal Mart and thought to myself... "Wow, I've never seen it that empty with customers". Then it hit me... WrestleMania is on tonight.

   Thinking about getting the new iPad 23 that comes out today, but might hold off to next Friday and get the iPad 24.

   it's lonely at the bottom too.

   there's so much sexual tension in my apartment right now... I'm so tired of living alone.

   Don't you hate it when you call someone for ransom and they are rude and hang up on you? Dude, you just made me waste this quarter on this pay phone.