Trollmaster Funny Status Messages

   My dog Max has a problem with chasing people on a bike. It finially reached a point yesterday where I had to take his bike away.

   I have a coffee table in my house. It's decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.

   I told a girl in the grocery store that she drew her eyebrows on way to high. She just stood there with a surprised look on her face.

   My dishwasher broke. Anyone knows where I should take her and get her fixed?