Timber Funny Status Messages

   I hit "<BACK" one too many times on the Red Box machine. Now it wants to know if I want my selections on VHS or BETAMAX.

   I just saw the Easter Bunny buying Easter Grass and Rolling Papers at the corner store.

   Iran has threatened to sue the filmmakers who made the Academy award winning movie “ARGO,” over their portrayal of Iran in the movie. What's Next? The Irish sue because "SHREK" made them look like Ogres?..... "DONKEY !!!"

   Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.

   North Korea has made good on their threat to send a Nuclear Warhead to the Capitol of the United States !!!!! It was sent via UPS Next Day Air and should arrive by Saturday morning.

   Today's Subway Special: The Triumph Carnival Cruise sandwich, This sandwich is served on 4 day-old Ammonia bread, with a scraps of room temperature tuna and onion, room temperature Mayonnaise, pieces of cucumber, and cheese.

   Makers Mark... Now with more Water !!! Same price !!! Going from 45 percent by volume to 42 percent by volume.

   Top Reasons I Procastinate... 1.)

   ROTFLSHIDMEN = Rolling On The Floor Laughing So Hard I Dropped My Egg Nog.

   The Hot New Toy this Christmas season will be "Outsource Me Elmo" Which is simply an empty box as Elmo's job has now gone to a Muppet in Asia.