The Atheist Funny Status Messages

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a little sister to play with." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Sure, send me your mom and wait about 9 months."

   So if I steal "free" wifi from the local church near my house, does that mean god is sending me a signal?

   Dear JB HATERs – I owe my life to Justin. On March 9th, 2009 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash. One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, so I got up, and turned the radio off.

   Sorry, Rick Santorum, but you have to carry your dead presidential campaign to full term...

   I know I'm a few days early but I'll just go ahead and say it, anybody... I mean.. ANYBODY who says "see you next year" on New Years eve to me is getting punched in the face. FYI

   America has just created a new missle called the "Civil Servant." It can't be fired and doesnt work.

   How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

   I dont know why soo many people are against gay couples adopting children. According to the"babble" Jesus had two dads and he turned out okay.....

   I rear ended a midget with my car the other day. So he go out and looked at me and said, "Im not happy," so I asked, "So then what Dwarf are you?

   Rose are red, violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.