Stuey Da Moose Funny Status Messages

   To women over 40, a guy with a belly and a sense of humor is a great catch. A guy who's buff is considered a narcissist and a pole-smoker.

   I've completely replaced sex with food. I had a mirror installed over my dining room table.

   I'd like to pretend I'm up north right now, and possess the burning desire to post: "It's snowing and it's cold!"