Skoop Funny Status Messages

   I knew a girl high school who didn't have an oreo until she was 17. I think about this a lot

   Hey squirrel, your tail looks gay

   I feel sorry for kids that behave in public because you know they get beat at home a lot.

   I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be.

   I'm gonna start driving my car on bike paths, it's only fair.

   :The sign above my office door reads "Dr. J. Smith - The rapist". It's kinda funny 'cause most women who visit my office enquire about the typo. Many limp out realising there isn't one.

   I don't got much to do today, I suppose I should do something productive. I'll probably go on ahead and pre-cook this 13lbs of bacon in my fridge. You know... In case of emergency

   I bet you didn't know that women can get b o n e r s...True story... They get them right in their mouth.