Samuel Warren Funny Status Messages

   I was once challenged my own reflection to a staring contest. On the fourth day I won!

   I just wanted to let everyone to know - yesterday I received my Obama stimulus package for 2010. It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10 coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish. Hope you get yours soon!

   The latest income-tax form has been greatly simplified. It consists of only three parts: (1) How much did you make last year? (2) How much have you got left? (3) Send amount listed in part 2.

   had better get to work. these scissors aren't going to run with themselves...

   likes to think that when she squishes a spider, its final thought is, "Good. Being a spider is miserable."