SULLY Funny Status Messages

   Awaiting Mitt Romney news conference where he'll say Trump's prints were found on newly-discovered OJ Simpson knife....

   Why can't we $hit like dogs, I'm tired of wiping my @ss......

   Sometimes I do FB with my 3D glasses on... It's almost like you guys are right here with me!!

   I blame Subway!! The kids had a better chance of outrunning Jared when he was fat......

   Just got kicked out of Subway for asking if I could get a footlong Spicy Italian in my Kids Meal....

   I don't care about gay marriage or the confederate flag. I care about Beer.... Is it 5 o'clock yet?

   If time is money.... Facebook owes me like...27 billion dollars...

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   I am getting pretty low on Girl Scout Cookies.... Threat Level: Orange

   It's so sad that Leonard Nimoy didn't live long enough to find out what color that dress was.....