Pineapple Funny Status Messages

   Twilight showed me it's okay to date underage girls if you're a 107-year-old vampire

   saw a banana peel in the road today and instinctively swerved to miss it, thanks Mario Kart!

   I can't believe there are so many privacy risks involved in broadcasting my entire life on Facebook

   if your lookin for Sympathy it is in the dictionary between S*it and Syphilis...

   making like a baby and heading out.

   Beer is good for what ales you.

   has decided that instead of flipping off these idiot drivers I'm just going to blow them a kiss instead.

   it's not me or my actions that bug you, it's that you let them bug you.

   really looking forward to this years Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach. Talk about non-stop racing action!

   AHHHH! A student driver! AHHHHH! In a Toyota! We're all gonna die!!!