Ninja Funny Status Messages

   My tonight my girlfriend is equal parts the internet, a tube of KY jelly, self-loathing and a sock.

   No, that dress doesn't make you seem fat...but your dependence on others' opinions definitely makes you seem shallow."

   Dracula + Tinkerbell = Edward Cullen. He is not a VAMPIRE. He doesn't feed on PEOPLE, he lives in the forest, and he sparkles. He is CLEARLY a Fairy.