MikeM Funny Status Messages

   You will unlikely ever be the oldest person on the planet, but for a brief moment you held the record for the youngest.

   Due to a government shutdown, no one is "Engineering the electricals."

   "One, two, Freddy's comin' for you... Three, four, you'd better lock your door..." oh wait, wrong holiday!

   After the VMAs people everywhere are saying that Miley Cyrus is the most talentless, disappointing girl in the music industry... I'm sorry, but please don't take that title away from Justin Bieber..

   Teaching my kids some nursery rhymes for the first time... Damn you Andrew Dice Clay!

   My first cup of coffee is enjoyed with silence, thank you for understanding.

   When I say, "That's interesting", don't assume it is, or that you are right or that I even I agree with you; most likely it means I am not really listening...

   I love "words with friends" so much I wish they would make it a board game.

   Thank goodness Jon Bon Jovi is alive after all, Nickleback would be nothing without him.

   Alarm, snooze, check Facebook...