Master weeg Funny Status Messages

   Children are often spoiled because no one will spank Grandma.

   When something bad happens you have 3 choices, You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

   I wish some people could just look at there own true colors of there character and see what an ugly picture they are painting with it.

   When I'm using Facebook mobile I always tag myself in my bed with 2 randcom chicks on my friends list.

   I met with my new girlfriends father for the first time yesterday. The first thing I said to him was, "Sir, you and me have something in common.." "What's that son?" I replied "Your daughter calls us both Daddy"

   Guy in office: "My computer just went down on me!" Lady in next office: "Which button did you press to get that???"

   What to tell a girl before a one night stand - "If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.."

   Hey girl look at you with all those curves, and me with no brakes.

   My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.

   Anyone who says onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never been hit in the face with a pumpkin.