MTQ Funny Status Messages

   That moment when you're tired and sleepy, and you drag yourself to bed but then your brain says, "Ha ha, just kidding!" I hate that.

   I can't get a break. I bought a can of evaporated milk, opened it up...it was full.

   Women are 60% water, 20% makeup, 10% clothing, 8% shoes, and 1% hairspray. That leaves 1%, yet they demand 100% of men's attention.

   I'm sick of all this Wiccan stuff. As far as I'm concerned, they're still food stamps.

   I have a great name for a dating site which pretty much sums the whole thing up in a nutshell...Desperate Losers.

   I took Nyquil and Dayquil. I forgot how to tell time.

   You don't actually pay a h00ker to sleep with you, you pay her to leave.

   war machines will cause the destruction of man. Not a comet. I wonder what the next species that inhabits the Earth will discuss while filling their vehicles with the fossil fuels derived from the remains of extinct humans.

   Umm...you people who live up north whining about the cold weather umm....you umm live up north.

   Gangnam Style: Dancing like an overweight Ch!nk getting b0ned up the a$$ by a sumo wrestler while wearing handcuffs that were put on by a ret@rded cop.