Jsabbage Funny Status Messages

   Unemployment, COVID-19, social unrest, .......kinda makes waiting for that giraffe to give birth not that big of a big deal now.

   I've never Kung Fu kicked so many toilet seats in all my life.

   I could easily do all my Christmas shopping at the Cracker Barrel gift shop.

   The night before the kids go back to school is the grown ups version of Christmas Eve.

   In unrelated news Julian Edleman and Tom Brady have just checked in to couples therapy...

   Ask a meteorologist who will win the Superbowl......then go with the other team ;-)

   Successfully "lands" a water bottle flip 3 out of 5 attempts. 0-998 in making his socks to the dirty clothes basket.

   I don't know what they paid Tom Hanks to be the conductor on the Polar Express, but I've been on the bus during local school field trips and he ain't making near enough money.

   Builds elaborate structures while playing Fortnite. Can't make own bed in real life.

   Weather forecasters have identified yet another tropical depression in the Atlantic Region which could potentially grow into a mega storm of epic proportions. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has appropriately named it Common Core Math