JiffyPop Funny Status Messages

   I told my wife that before the dogs and I go out, she needs to give us the 3rd Degree. Because at least 3 degrees is warmer than what ever it is currently in the Tundra called the midwestern U.S.

   I bet toilet paper rolls in CIA offices all have the 4th Amendment printed on them.

   Iran bans on all Americans from entering their country. So much for my "Tehran Endless Beach Tour". Sandy beaches, everywhere, as far as the eye can see. So sad.

   Pharrell Williams Begs Women to Vote Hillary: "She’s Dishonest, But So Are You"...Now we know why they chose him to be the front man for "Daft Punk"

   Hey, look on the bright side America, she might not only be the first woman ever elected prez, she could very well also be the first US prez who is forced be a stay at home wife with an ankle bracelet on. #FeministMilestones

   A Tennessee Hardware shop has put up a sign that says "No Gays Allowed". His homophobia is readily explained by the other sign in his shop "Today's Special: 25 cents for 12 inch screws!"

   Just when I thought North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un couldn't get any weirder, he goes and lets the cast of Jersey Shore cut his hair.