Hot Tea Funny Status Messages

   Gas is so cheap now that Porter Ranch is giving it away!

   My money is on Sacha Baron Cohen playing Dzhokhar Tsarnaev in the biopic.

   Instead of drinking beer today I'm drinking wine, because I have a cold and wine has vitamin C.

   It turns out Muse is more than Musicians United for Safe Energy. It's an okay band too!

   Not even a gun range has enough good guys with a gun to stop one bad guy with a gun!

   I'll start to believe video games cause people to be violent when I see someone get arrested for killing a pig by slingshotting a bird at it.

   Call me insensitive but I'm going ahead and declaring Art Modell's passing as the Browns first win this season. 1-0 baby!

   I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend.

   When you say Jesus backwards it sounds just like "sausage."

   FOUND: IPod Touch 4G, 32GB, white. Must be able to match the naked pics I found in the photos.