GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages

   Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Don't forget to set your scales back 10 pounds.

   This Christmas instead of gifts I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

   To all the people that couldn't stand me this year, just letting you know next year is going to be even worse.

   Someone stole my identity... And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said, "So sorry man. Hope things work out".

   I don't know who needs to hear this. But just because it is on sale doesn't mean you have to buy it.

   I'm not a magician. But I once turned a back rub into a kid and a mortgage.

   Today's advice: sing Christmas songs at work until they send you home.

   If there is no sound in space, is a fart on earth louder than a supernova?

   I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.

   My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday. It's ridiculous because I didn't even know it was her birthday.