Felesar Funny Status Messages

   What's this I hear about some 19 year old girl getting Justin Bieber pregnant?

   How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what someone said?

   I saw Donald Rumsfeld on CNN this morning, offering his advice on using the military in Libya. What's next? Octomom giving advice on birth control?

   The Oscars are over. From now on, any reference to "The King's Speech" should only reflect the things Charlie Sheen says.

   Someone needs to do a "Leave Charlie Sheen alone!" video on You Tube like that emo tween did for Brittney.

   Whenever I say, "I don't mean that in a bad way"... yeah, I probably do.

   wants you to know that Alcohol is Never the answer. Unless, of course, the question is "What is C2H5OH?"

   Don't judge me. If you're reading this, then you aren't working either.

   As I grow older and wiser, I am increasingly aware that mostly, I'm just growing older..

   I never called you crazy... I said you look like you might own 400 cats, but I never actually said "crazy."