Fazzella Funny Status Messages

   As far as Mariah Carey's lip-synch debacle on New Year's Eve goes, I wasn't paying close enough attention. I was organizing an "over-under" pool as to how many walnuts she could crush with those thighs at one time.

   With the advent of the new year, we will see more technological advancements to make our lives easier. They will also be the cause of our ultimate demise. Everything has its price.

   With all the deaths in 2016, there is one worth celebrating. Obama's failed legacy.

   Gold, frankinsence and myrrh. I may not be as wise as the 3 Wise Men, but I would have brought the baby Jesus a Lite Brite.

   Famous deaths occur in threes. First Florence Henderson, and now Fidel Castro. There's a pattern here. The only one I can figure out that's the next has to be the meatball sub from Subway.

   Watching the Macy's Thanskgiving Day Parade. It's not a parade, it's a 3 hour ad for Broadway plays. Where's the Bullwinkle float!???

   Hillary Guitar: Shrill tone, difficult to find input jack, available in Benghazi Blood, Millenial Snowflake White, or Jumpsuit Jail Orange finish.

   They've never overturned the initial electoral vote. It's never been changed. Never. Like Michael Moore's underwear.

   The reason Hillary supporters didn't watch the first Trump TV interview, is that they're so slow, it'd take them two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

   Sour grapes make the very worst whine...get over it, she lost.