Ef-Az-Zzee Funny Status Messages

   I took lessons from a half-wit and held onto it all.

   I never realized that the toilet was a good way to get rid of the evidence.

   I know there's definitely something wrong with me when I care more about someone getting a BJ in the Oval Office than violations of the constitution and abuse of office.

   I'm working a double shift tomorrow at a restaurant lounge. Since it'll be Valentine's Day, I'm putting a fake engagement ring in every woman's drink who's there with a date.

   My dream funeral would include me bring buried, wrapped in the confederate flag. Can't get more patriotic than that.

   The good news regarding climate change: It'll eventually kiII off the Winter Olympics.

   It's amazing how one transgender can trigger so much hate and ignorance. Like honestly, how are people like that affecting your lives?

   RIP Bob Saget: A comic whose stand-up routine was basically a 9 year old who discovered you can say curse words when your parents aren't around.

   Fuel prices are so high under the Biden administration, he is now suggesting we fart on our wallets for gas money.

   Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles are 50 years old. The first WOKE cereals ever.