Dopey420 Funny Status Messages

   Take two, you know you got good bud when you stink up the whole HOUSE before you spark it. Sorry I'm high :D

   When someone says to me "hi how are you" I say "high how are you" and they never seem to get it.

   Regular a** (_!_) fat a** (__!__) tight a** (!) dumba** (_?_)

   Next up on espn , womans soc... click.

   My wife told me " it would be nice if you loaded the dishwasher once in a while after we eat." So after dinner tonight I'm going to buy her a 5th of jack.

   When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

   A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

   I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

   Hey youtubers, if your clip wasn't funny the first time around chances are reshowing it in slow mo isn't going to make it any funnier.

   I'm so sick of hearing about the rapture... Shut up already, if it happens we'll have all eternity to talk about it in he'll.