Deithy Funny Status Messages

   wants to know: if you went to bed with a schizophrenic, would it count as a threesome? Just asking.....

   purchased his own Taser off the internet yesterday. In a totally unconnected incident, I've got to buy a cat to replace the neighbour's one this afternoon (and it must be identical looking)........

   has a message to all Gingers. Let Raoul Moat be a lesson. We will find you and make it look like suicide!

   SHOPPERS: Bored with writing lists for that weekly shop? Simply find discarded lists in trolleys/baskets, and use them! Its spiced up my life.....

   determined to break into the Porn Industry in 2010. I'm not going to listen this time to anyone who says I'm over qualified!

   eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.

   looking forward to the family tradition of listening to the UK's No 1 after Xmas dinner. Can't wait to see the look on my mum's face!

   was surprised to find a Christmas present from last year while getting the decorations out. The kids were all excited as I opened the box. What a pity it was a dead puppy

   remembers a time when 'Binge Drinking' was simply called 'Getting Pissed'

   went to the bookshop today to get a book about conspiracies. Guess what, there were none there. Coincidence?