Brafty Crastard Funny Status Messages

   Officer: anything you say will be held against you. Me: Big T!ts!

   I don't make typos, I make new words.

   You know it's time to do laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

   What did the little black kid get for Christmas? My bike :(

   Refuses to add his co workers on Facebook, I don't want them to see all the sh!t I talk about them on there.

   Go to your profile, look to the right. Now annoy those 8 friends by tagging them in a stupid post about the zombie apoclyspe, or bank robbery, and let them know you have no life.

   You know it's time to wash your wank sock when you drop it and it sounds like plates dropping.

   On the 4th day of rioting my tru love gave to me, 3 Nike trainers, two ps3's, and a samsung HDTV !

   Sorry I'm not rioting, my tracksuit is in the wash.

   Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire