Boo Hiss! Funny Status Messages

   I went to the shrink coz I've been talking to myself. He asked if I had any stress, told him no. He said, "Don't worry about it then...millions of people talk to themselves." I said, "Yeah, but I'm really boring."

   Happy Hump Day this. It's too far in to see the weekend from either direction.

   Here's how it works. You have $ex, then nine months later you give birth. Seven years later, you flood my newsfeed with countless pics of these little "geniuses" who, in reality, are average at best.

   Let's get this out of the way now. Next Wednesday, the date will be 12-12-12. Happy? zzzzzzzzzzzzz

   Judging by the empty seats at Dolphin's games, football is doomed in Miami. Time to realize it's soccer and thug roundball city down there. Will the last American to leave Miami please bring the goalposts?