BigToe0311 Funny Status Messages

   I have exciting news. Today I used a piece of plywood, that I've kept in my garage since 2003, incase I might need it.

   Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I’m a valued customer at several grocery stores.

   I'm almost to the point of thinking that the only thing that can unite us is a Netflix show about a gay zoo owner, with a platinum blonde mullet.