Barber Funny Status Messages

   And just like that kids at the stroke of midnight on August 31 all the girls ears wiggled and BAM Pumpkin spice everywhere!

   instead of clapping at the state of the union they should yell "Dilly Dilly"

   I guess I should watch the Grammys to see who our next President will be.

   To find your cool robot name, take the first 16 digits of your credit card & combine it with the expiration date and security code. What's yours?

   Do Millennial kids just trick or treat online?

   A man came knocking on the door the other day asking for donations to the Old Folks Home. So I gave him grandma.

   I hate when I pack on an extra twenty pounds for an upcoming movie roll and then I remember I'm not an actor.

   "If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture."

   If any toys in Toy story died the kids would keep playing with them but the other toys would be playing with their dead friends.......creepy

   Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.