Ashden Ras Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me? Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

   When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear

   When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

   out like the Red Sox! good night!

   doesnt want to die, not because he is afraid of death but because he is worried about all the crap people will find on his computer when hes gone.

   running dangerously low on cheetos

   Wishes life was like a Nintendo game, if you had a problem you just take it out and blow on it. And everything would be fine