Anita Dicken Funny Status Messages

   Men! If you don't sleep with them, they never call...if you do sleep with them, they never call. You may as well get a good f**k out of the deal.

   I'm convinced that someone could start a facebook page that featured nothing but hideous women with three heads, and there'd still be guys that would comment, " Hola, mamacita, man joo shood come over to mi casa!"

   March. In like a lion, out like a...hang on...wind chill of 34 degrees here in Orlando right now?....Okay....in like a lion, out like a Honey badger.

   I want to know who Jimmy Fallon blew to get his late night TV show.

   "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine."

   Think of a number between 68 and 70....

   As far as I'm concerned, it was false advertising. When I transferred funds to the seller, I had no idea that I was buying a dog, not a candy factory. Chocolate Lab indeed....

   I love New England!!! (Clam Chowder)

   Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn't have to hear about how well Adam’s mother cooked.

   When I say I'm done with a facebook chat, that doesn't mean you can keep typing for another 20 minutes. It means I'M DONE CHATTING!