Acreator24 Funny Status Messages

   Pro tip: when you're watching a show like "my five wives" with your wife, don't suggest potential additional wives.

   I'm going to sit quietly in my room today and think about what I did

   I should have yelled "timberrrr" before I dropped that log 💩

   One of these days I will burst into flames, like Ghost Rider, and steal the souls of those who toss cig butts out of moving vehicles.

   I hand lettered this. Does it look real?

   A memory of grade school math just popped into my head. The images I associated with the alligator eating the larger numbers still haunt me!

   Went out and mercifully shot my tomato plants this morning. It was the right thing to do. They were so sick and the government wouldn't help me because I am not legally a farmer....the one died right away, but the second took two bullets.

   I will no longer use Facebook as a vehicle for being a wise ass.I will use it to uplift,edify and educate,as it was intended.

   When they cut up carrots for frozen mixed vegetables,they get all these perfect squares.What do they do with the curved part?I spent the better part of a night trying to reconstruct one from the bag and there were no pointy ends either.