@topherjordan Funny Status Messages

   Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.

   I think Congress should be forced to go on minimum wage. That way I can feel more comfortable calling them public servants!

   I'm one excuse away from calling you.

   Stop talking to me and stare at your phone. It’s 2013.

   Whenever I walk into a Wal-Mart I automatically hate everyone.....including myself.

   The gym manager just gave me a dirty look....Apparently, reverse cowgirl is not an appropriate way to ride the exercise bike.

   The perfect day is one where the only decision you have to make is which drink to order.

   I ate a cigarette last night cause I thought it was a fry.

   I came, I saw, I took a nap.

   It's really kind of sad we live in a country where we are the most entertained, yet the less informed.