@ronniechapman Funny Status Messages

   Ladies be careful when a dude asks you to come over and 'chill' it can lead to chill-dren

   You think the colts are going to win? You better Belichick yourself before you wreck yourself

   Me: "I'm here for the hookers and the booze!!!" Her: "Sir, this is a library." Me: *whispers... "I'm here for the hookers and the booze."

   Strangers can become best friends just as easy as best friends can become strangers.....

   I once dated an amputee. She single-handedly changed my life

   I use to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean

   Check out Google's homepage right now. It's hilarious

   Guys that try to pickup women on FaceBook are pathetic. Ladies if you agree DM me your number so we can talk about it...

   Women are supposed to be like butterflies. Beautiful and hard to catch but most of y'all are like mosquitoes, annoying and easy to smash.

   Religion is like a buffet. People take what they like and ignore the rest..