@qpid901 Funny Status Messages

   Lesson Of The Day: Watch who you eat ribs with.

   The best thing about VDay is the reese's peanut butter cups are ALWAYS fresh!

   Dear Nerf, Table legs hurt! Fix that. Sincerely, Stubbed Toe

   ‎"I got 99 chores and I ain't did one." - Lay Z

   Republicans complain about people on welfare and unemployment benefits but want their businesses bailed out. Thats what I call "corporate welfare".

   Just witnessed a grown man run down an escalator the wrong way. Most embarrassing thing...it was my dad

   Breaking news: Lebron James is taking his talents to Vancouver. Found out they only have to play 3 periods in the NHL, not 4.

   Shout out to everyone who ever gave GOD I mean Bishop Eddie Long Stroke money. Your money got put to good use today. I'm sure GOD is proud. Shout out to the Building Fund also. That private bedroom he has in his office must be nice.

   Hey Harold Camping, we all make mistakes. It's not the end of the world...

   Beyonces new song is so horrible i'd rather hear Betty White & John McCain make sex noises.