@plasticmortal Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
←Rate | 11-11-2012 05:37 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon God created pollsters to make astrologers look accurate
←Rate | 11-05-2012 08:58 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoa whoa, calm down Swiffer commercials, you're a wet paper towel on a stick
←Rate | 07-29-2012 02:47 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man stopped me in the street today and asked me the quickest way to a hospital, so I pushed him under a bus!
←Rate | 11-01-2011 09:52 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon according to lipton the best way to make tea is to agitate the bag so every morning morning I slap the wife on the ass and say two sugars fatty
←Rate | 10-30-2011 18:07 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon took a bucket of Legos to Lowes and asked the cute manager "Let's build something together" that's when I got thrown out of Lowe's.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 03:48 by @Plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink, but you can make him wish he had!
←Rate | 09-23-2010 07:01 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to see a tax on every word that come out of the mouth of politicians. That should balance the budget in a day or two.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:53 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 16:06 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is best when it overflows freely from the heart, rather than you having to reach in to get your fill.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 14:51 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  



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