@circumsighs Funny Status Messages

   I wish my parents never named me. That way it would be much easier to be a CIA agent.

   Wow the local Chinese food place has online ordering now. Seems like you can order anything online with the click of a button, including a wife. The world is slowly becoming a better place for Stephen Hawking.

   It's hilarious to see really ugly people with cute little kids. You know god is just bluffing. They'll get ugly eventually.

   If you have VIP in ur license plate you are a douchebag. If you have VIP in the license plate of ur 1996 Toyota Corolla you r a delusional douchebag