@austincreel Funny Status Messages

   Santa works one day a year and spends the other 364 judging people. Where can I apply for this job?

   If someone throws Skittles at you and yells "taste the rainbow" run them over with your car and yell "Nationwide is on your side!"

   Skinny Jeans: For guys who took "I got in her pants" the wrong way...

   I'm going to spend Valentine's day with my ex..... Box 360

   "THIS, IS, SPARTA!" "Grandma, please stop kicking the dog down the stairs..."

   If a guy treats you like a princess, he was obviously raised by a queen. If he treats you like crap, well..he was raised by someone along the lines of michael vick.

   The three stages of a relationship: 1. xoxo, 2. xxx & 3. ex

   If the happy in love couples are called "love birds" the miserable fighting couples should be called "angry birds"