@Felesar Funny Status Messages

   Happy St. Patrick's Day: May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. Cheers

   getting 3 inches of snow per hour. My front yard looks like Charlie Sheen's coffee table.

   You know that look women get right before they want to have sex? Me neither.

   Norton Shores, Michigan - a teenage girl had her neck bit by the young man sitting in front of her during a screening of the new Twilight movie. So caught up, he committed to being a vampire. Don't even ask what happened when he saw Brokeback Mountain

   puts the pro in procrastinate

   ust read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them.

   People say I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

   Sick of all the iPhone ads? There's an app for that.