@CarlosdRooster Funny Status Messages

   Sex is a great way to calm down after a long, stressful day at work. Being a good friend, I'm always available to provide relaxing support.

   I'm not into bestiality but sometimes I want to have sex with Sarah Jessica Parker.

   Unbelievable. Rodney King has to die before the world found out he owned a pool.

   Don't download the new Helen Keller ringtone. The volume on my phone was all the way up and I still missed 7 calls yesterday.

   I hope some brilliant people find a cure for every major disease, because I refuse to walk 5Ks.

   I can sponsor a child for $.79 a day, but it costs me $2.99 a minute to chat with my "special friend"! Sorry poor, starving children. Its a tough economy so daddy needs his sexy talk.

   If your friends always ask you to take pictures, are they not also implying you're too damn ugly to be in those pictures?

   I'm wearing my Sketcher Shape-ups, or as I affectionately call them: Can't-Get-Laid(s).

   I found out I don't have testicular cancer. My dentist told me after I woke up. Nice guy, he didn't charge me.

   Oops. Out of milk. Guess who's having disappointment for breakfast...:(