@1_Jack_Jacko Funny Status Messages

   A honeymoon is a vacation a man takes before starting work under a new boss

   Sierra, Echo, November, Delta. November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra

   You hoes saying you're leaving America but can't even leave your boyfriend after he's cheated on you 32 times

   Every time I have to dress up in this killing heat I contemplate becoming a nudist. Then I remember what I look like naked and start putting on my clothes….

   For those that don't know, I'm getting married on May 7th. Since it's short notice don't worry about bringing wedding gifts, just bring someone for me to marry. Thanks

   Picking a president to vote for this term is like picking the STD that I would be the most okay with having

   I want a girl that likes long romantic walks. Because I don't have a car.

   My future wife is probably lying in bed right now texting her man about how they’re gonna be together forever. I think not, see you in two years babe

   Am I the only person who feels like Christmas didn't even happen?

   If you friendzone me, help me bang your other friends then. Bestie