Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It isn't the alternative facts that makes the White House dangerous, it's the alternative reality.

   Trump didn't want to drain the swamp, he wanted to rule the swamp. He failed at both.

   My four year old understands leverage and negotiation better than Trump.

   People sometimes confuse deal-making skills with having enough money to bully the little guys into doing what you want.

   Trump will make tremendous deals, incredible deals, as long as he doesn't face yuuuuuge obstacles like a large GOP majority in the House.

   Spicer, Nunes, Conway and Trump. These are the biggest jokes ever.

   where are all the supporters that say bye bye obamacare? ctfu yall quiet

   trump must be very frustrated that congress is full of people with principles that care about Americans. It makes it harder for him to improve America for the richest and whitest Americans at the expense of everyone else.

   When Trump was pledging to drain the swamp, his rabid supporters never noticed that he didn't have anything good to refill the swamp with once it was drained.

   Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.

   Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.

   I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."

   a president with sex tapes...gee, I'm glad we didn't put a Clinton in office again

   Devin Nunes wants a closed interview of all the top microwave manufacturers.

   Donald Trump and I have managed to get the same number of bills through congress.

   It sucks when a bunch of rich white guys don't get the improvements to their health care plan at the expense of women and the poor like they have been promised.

   I just saw the video of Trump and the Russian ladies. It isn't as bad as it seems. Trump got stung by a jellyfish, and that is why they were peeing on him.

   This isn't over. The GOP will unveil its Putincare plan, just as soon as the Trump Administration gets the green light from the Kremlin.

   Eating pork chops with mohammad

   If Hillary won we would be under Sharia law. Bacon would be outlawed