Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Monster Nursery Rhymes: Humpty Dumpty fell off of Trump's wall and had no health insurance.
←Rate | 03-27-2017 05:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way Donald Trump’s season is going, he’ll have the first pick in next year’s draft.
←Rate | 03-27-2017 05:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump bills Germany $300 BILLION for Nato (even though that's not how it works). Dude will try anything to recoup his Trump Steak losses.
←Rate | 03-27-2017 05:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The leader of the Freedom Caucus confirmed to CNN today that they wouldn't vote yes because Trump didn't say "please".
←Rate | 03-26-2017 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your call is very important to us so please enjoy this flute solo for the next 90 minutes
←Rate | 03-26-2017 19:33 by Me E Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is watermelon why isn't there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. You know…the elemelons
←Rate | 03-26-2017 19:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that ignorance is bliss but I find it rather disturbing.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 15:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the poop in this world, who decided that bat shyt's the craziest?
←Rate | 03-26-2017 15:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tough part of being vegan is getting up @ 5 am to milk the almonds...
←Rate | 03-26-2017 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump is so terrible at negotiating that he can't even find a way to convince his wife to live with him.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Hannity debating Ted Koppel about real journalism is like a 5-year-old debating his dad about the rules of the house.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sources say Michael Flynn may have turned on Trump and become witness for FBI, or as Donald calls them, Female Body Inspectors.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently the Art of the Deal is actually the doodles you draw on your notepad while your deal crumbles.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Official White House response: Donald Trump's in meetings. Journalists with cameras and tourists with iPhones: Donald Trump is definitely golfing.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Curiously enough, pulling out of Trumpcare is also the GOP's new birth control strategy.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you people see.... these dummy-crats are trying to peece us off. Lets show them we are bigger than that, and they need a job.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon almost annoyed by the fact that Pablo Escobar spent most of his life tucking in his shirt but he’s only remembered for selling drugs.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 13:19 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is a watermelon why isn't there an earthmelon and firemelon and airmelon? You know…the elemelons
←Rate | 03-26-2017 12:30 by Me E Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad to see most of you are not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 07:51 by GR Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting exercise by marching is Trump's new healthcare plan . What an idiot
←Rate | 03-25-2017 20:17 Comments (0)  




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