Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Sean Spicer must wear flame-retardant pants to every press conference to keep his pants from igniting.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon North Korea tests new rocket engine. Donald Trump phones Kim Jong-un and leaves stern voicemail stating, "Me no likey."
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is now claiming, that his Perrier water is being tapped.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Spicer is what would happen if Hank Hill let Cotton influence Bobby.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It makes sense Tim Allen would support Trump considering he's a big fan of tools.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul Ryan thinks Trumpcare health bill needs some changes. To me, it needs only one -- incinerating the entire document in a tire fire.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going from Barack Obama to Donald Trump is like replacing Captain James T. Kirk with Captain High Liner.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how you sometimes hear something pop loudly in the microwave? That's the camera bulb flashing.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Spicer is now claiming that Richard Nixon had a Very Limited Role in Watergate.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing. Too bad about her creepy coworker who just so happens to be her dad.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Trump's America, reading is for dummies. Watch more TV.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jerry Sandusky was trending this month and I thought Trump made him the head of the Family and Youth Services Bureau.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now is probably a good time to teach your Nana how to set up a GoFundMe account for her health insurance.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump supporters like me are so poor, we have to create a g-mail account just so we can eat the spam.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:30 by LS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like they'll be building condos on Sesame Street.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spent 20 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 11:42 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to lose weight. Baskin-Robbins just called my mom and told her because of me they're down to only 5 flavors.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 11:40 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone know exactly how long we are supposed to "Shake It Off"? Taylor Swift never specified and frankly I'm exhausted.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 11:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a fan of Donald Trump, but I won't denigrate those who are....and for those that are Donald Trump fans, denigrate means to put down.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 10:30 Comments (3)  




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