Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 997 of 6446

Spicer reminds me of a toddler who got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, and crumbs on his face, trying to convince everyone that he wasn't the person who took the cookies.
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03-21-2017 16:54
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The hardest working position in the White House is Donald Trump's belt.
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03-21-2017 16:53
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Melania and Kellyanne look like someone took two attractive models, and then smooshed their faces around until they didn't quite look right.
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03-21-2017 16:52
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Meatloaf's "Two out of Three Ain't Bad" is Trump's favorite song about what is the appropriate percentage of your wives who should be immigrants.
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03-21-2017 16:44
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Careful Ivanka. The boss in your new office is very handsy with attractive young women.
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03-21-2017 16:42
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Did Trump's physician say he would be the fittest President in history? If anything, he might be the fattest President in history.
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03-21-2017 16:38
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Sean Spicer must wear flame-retardant pants to every press conference to keep his pants from igniting.
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03-21-2017 16:33
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North Korea tests new rocket engine. Donald Trump phones Kim Jong-un and leaves stern voicemail stating, "Me no likey."
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03-21-2017 16:00
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Trump is now claiming, that his Perrier water is being tapped.
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03-21-2017 15:58
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Sean Spicer is what would happen if Hank Hill let Cotton influence Bobby.
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03-21-2017 15:57
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It makes sense Tim Allen would support Trump considering he's a big fan of tools.
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03-21-2017 15:54
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Paul Ryan thinks Trumpcare health bill needs some changes. To me, it needs only one -- incinerating the entire document in a tire fire.
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03-21-2017 15:52
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Going from Barack Obama to Donald Trump is like replacing Captain James T. Kirk with Captain High Liner.
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03-21-2017 15:50
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You know how you sometimes hear something pop loudly in the microwave? That's the camera bulb flashing.
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03-21-2017 15:49
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Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.
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03-21-2017 15:47
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Sean Spicer is now claiming that Richard Nixon had a Very Limited Role in Watergate.
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03-21-2017 15:46
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Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing. Too bad about her creepy coworker who just so happens to be her dad.
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03-21-2017 15:44
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In Trump's America, reading is for dummies. Watch more TV.
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03-21-2017 15:40
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Jerry Sandusky was trending this month and I thought Trump made him the head of the Family and Youth Services Bureau.
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03-21-2017 15:38
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Now is probably a good time to teach your Nana how to set up a GoFundMe account for her health insurance.
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03-21-2017 15:35
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