Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Spicer reminds me of a toddler who got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, and crumbs on his face, trying to convince everyone that he wasn't the person who took the cookies.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest working position in the White House is Donald Trump's belt.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Melania and Kellyanne look like someone took two attractive models, and then smooshed their faces around until they didn't quite look right.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:52 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Meatloaf's "Two out of Three Ain't Bad" is Trump's favorite song about what is the appropriate percentage of your wives who should be immigrants.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Careful Ivanka. The boss in your new office is very handsy with attractive young women.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did Trump's physician say he would be the fittest President in history? If anything, he might be the fattest President in history.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Spicer must wear flame-retardant pants to every press conference to keep his pants from igniting.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon North Korea tests new rocket engine. Donald Trump phones Kim Jong-un and leaves stern voicemail stating, "Me no likey."
←Rate | 03-21-2017 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is now claiming, that his Perrier water is being tapped.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Spicer is what would happen if Hank Hill let Cotton influence Bobby.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It makes sense Tim Allen would support Trump considering he's a big fan of tools.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul Ryan thinks Trumpcare health bill needs some changes. To me, it needs only one -- incinerating the entire document in a tire fire.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going from Barack Obama to Donald Trump is like replacing Captain James T. Kirk with Captain High Liner.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how you sometimes hear something pop loudly in the microwave? That's the camera bulb flashing.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Spicer is now claiming that Richard Nixon had a Very Limited Role in Watergate.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing. Too bad about her creepy coworker who just so happens to be her dad.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Trump's America, reading is for dummies. Watch more TV.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jerry Sandusky was trending this month and I thought Trump made him the head of the Family and Youth Services Bureau.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now is probably a good time to teach your Nana how to set up a GoFundMe account for her health insurance.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 15:35 Comments (0)  




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