Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Fun Fact: Paul Manafort is a direct descendant of Benedict Arnold.
←Rate | 03-23-2017 05:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul Manafort just offered to help Vladimir Putin move apartments.
←Rate | 03-23-2017 05:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one will really notice your awkwardness if you turn it into a dance routine.
←Rate | 03-23-2017 02:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon distance can be so cruel when you love somebody
←Rate | 03-22-2017 23:28 by Cupid Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't know where you stand with people then walk away.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 23:27 by Cupid Comments (0)  


   messageicon Make sure you've got something of yourself left over for the ones that love you. 3 replies 65 retweets 121 likes
←Rate | 03-22-2017 23:26 by Cupid Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 23:22 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Trump surely kept your whiney ass from being run down today. Youre welcome.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 22:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stalin should have known communism doesn't work. There were red flags everywhere.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 19:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivanka Trump, the latest to join the cast of the confusing reboot to The West Wing.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 19:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to acronyms, I believe that DILLIGAF is right "up there" with NASA.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 18:02 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful if you are driving around DC this week. Lots of key GOPers are throwing their credibility out the window. That sort of thing could damage innocent passersby.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CNN has confirmed the intercepted communication was a call to a brothel ordering a young lady willing to pee on an old man. The John was unnamed, but everyone could tell who it was.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 17:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump, Conway and Spicer have now been joined in the "Shameless Joke with No Credibility" parade by Mr. Nunes. Is there room for four stooges?
←Rate | 03-22-2017 17:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The President woke up this morning and said "I don't think we have been corrupt enough yet. There must be more lies we can tell. Get Devin on the phone."
←Rate | 03-22-2017 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 things I don't like: 1. Focusing on things I don't like 2. Lists 3. Irony
←Rate | 03-22-2017 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go to O'Reilly Auto Parts website and type, '121G' in the search bar. You will thank me later.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 14:59 by Chuck Comments (2)  


   messageicon Trump has taken Take Your Daughter to Work Day to the next level.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 14:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivanka Trump's West Wing Duties: 1) Smile. 2) Stick chest out. 3) Hold Daddy's hand and make sure he remains calm. 4) Administer meds.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 14:54 Comments (0)  




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