Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Thank God Obamacare is currently there to take care of those who have unnecessary heart palpitations over Trumpcare.

   President Trump's Favorite KFC Meal: The Suckers Bucket.

   If we keep killing entitlement, healthcare, etc, pretty soon all America will be defending are the 1% and a bunch of rocks.

   Those predictions of Trump starting a war to deflect Russia issues AND gain more power are coming true.

   I thought it was cool when Superman visited Bizarro World where up is down and yes is no. But in a comic book. Not the White House.

   All the GOP care about is who leaked. But what do you expect from a bunch of old white men whose bladders aren't their friends anymore.

   Spicer says TrumpCare doesn't have a Plan B - "it's just Plan A and Plan A." But we all know there's gonna be a morning-after bill.

   Liking a celebrity's tweet in the hopes they'll notice you is like voting Republican thinking you'll be a millionaire one day.

   Poll: 19% believe Trump told truth re Obama wiretapping him. That, ladies & gents, is the core. 1 of 5 will believe anything Trump says.

   BREAKING: Vladimir Putin gives Devin Nunes an 'attaboy.'

   Folks who say, "I can't take all this drama", are the same ones who make Hollywood rich paying $15 to see it on a movie screen.

   If you open a doughnut shop and don't name it "Hole Foods" well, what's the matter with you?

   Looks like the Healthcare bill vote may be delayed so Nancy Pelosi can read it this time

   A honeymoon is a vacation a man takes before starting work under a new boss

   Obama did so much for blacks, More free food and more free housing. Just what your fat white baby momma wanted.

   Q: What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? A: Icy dead people.

   Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..

   Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on eBay? I just bid on a Mickey Mouse Outfit and now I'm 10 minutes away from owning the Dallas Cowboys.

   I've been putting Root Beer in a square glass all evening. I'm still not drunk.

   Donald Trump seems like the kind of guy who had a Y2K bunker.