Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Obama is at a All Male Gay resort this weekend. True story.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Making America great, one round of golf at a time.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for all the heroin OBAMA
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump's golf instructor gave him a great tip this morning. He would have much better hip rotation if he took his head out of his butt.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where are all the peaceful Musl/Ms marching against terrorism?
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:46 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Trump hooked hiis drive out of bounds on the sixth hole today. Blames Democrats.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Several Russian prostitutes seen headed to Trump Golf Course in Virginia today for "meetings".
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is the oldest elected President the US ever had, which means we will witness his transition from paying people to pee on him, to him peeing himself.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Melania better drink a lot of coffee and water today, because it will take several minutes of getting peed on to help the Donald recover from this blow.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump's healthcare defence is similar to his "grab them by the P" defence. Bill said much worse than I did. Their plan is much worse than my plan. I believe that is known as the loser's limp reaction.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self - when you elect a joke candidate, you get a joke President.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rick Perry has only done 3 things as Energy Secretary: Deny climate change, attack a gay student, and... I can't remember the third thing.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess I missed the chapter in "The Art of the Deal" about getting rejected by the Freedom Caucus.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is already claiming that voter fraud is to blame for losing health care vote.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What burns Donald Trump more, losing the Trumpcare bill or his herpes that he referred to as his "personal Vietnam"?
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon New chapters in The Art of the Deal sequel: 1) Insult Your Way to an Unpassable Health Bill. 2) Build the Wall and Make Mexico Pay Nothing.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs health insurance when this current administration makes you want to die every half hour on the hour?
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:06 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Democrat bill would force Trump to disclose White House and Mar-a-Lago visitors, including Vladimir Putin and Kanye West.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Devin Nunes is also sorry: 1) He told your abusive husband where you were hiding. 2) You were born poor. 3) He didn't ask Vlad for more cash.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald and Melania Trump reportedly sleep in separate bedrooms. That's a good idea, Melania's crying keeps Donald awake at night.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 16:00 Comments (0)  




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