Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I heard George's friends tried to wake him up before they had to GoGo, but apparent he was suffering from a fatal case of the Jitterbug. ... too soon?

   So 2016 Took a Prince and a Princess...Damn

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!

   The man who discovered copper died penniless

   When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

   Apparently my snoring is louder than my cars sound system .

   there a way I can trade Kanye West, the Kardasians, and the Jersey Shore cast for one of the "Good ones" that died in 2016? Would throw Kathy Griffin in if it helps.

   PRO TIP : EX-LAX AND SLEEPING PILLS DON'T MIX

   You go to the refrigerator to see if something is appealing and later on you return to see if anything is appealing as if something magically appeared. Same as checking Facebook throughout the day- the same ol' over and over.

   I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.

   My girl has the crabs, I suggested fishnet stockings.

   I feel a disturbance in the Force. RIP Carrie Fisher.

   So where did all those sapiosexuals disappear to ? Or was it a phase ?

   Your display of ignorance is astounding. There are three separate and equal branches of government. Israel's PM, who is ten times the man odumma can ever hope to be, does not need permission from the Executive Branch to speak to the Legislative Branch.

   The label says "Alcohol may intensify the effects of this medication." My question is, is this a warning or a suggestion?

   Why should Obama treat Nutandyahoo any differently than the way he treats Obama? My main complaint is the fact that Nutandyahoo bypassed Obama, the sitting president, to address congress last year. Who the hell does he think he is? Payback s a bi*ch ain't

   Whose job was it to "Wake him up" before they lefy

   Yeah, I saw that meme too. Nice originality Delta Oscar Uniform Charlie Hotel Echo, Bravo Alpha Golf

   So I wonder if George Michael woke anyone up before he go go'ed, I know he was not planning on going solo...

   So over Christmas porn, there is only so much elf sex one can watch