Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 977 of 6446

If they made a movie ,you know who would make a good Obama? Morgan Freeman. Not because they look alike but because Morgan never did a damn thing for America either.
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04-11-2017 19:01
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2 predictions - 1) CNN says Democrats have 98% chance of winning the 2020 presidential election. 2) Their wrong again.
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04-11-2017 18:43
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2020 democratic presidential candidate slogan - " Who want free phones?"
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04-11-2017 18:41
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United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
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04-11-2017 17:44
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Number 1 reason people voted for Hillary Clinton - They couldnt figure out how to tell their parents they were gay.
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04-11-2017 17:41
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Put my phone on airplane mode and some bloke came over and dragged me out of the house.
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04-11-2017 17:10 by United
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United, we put the hospital in hospitality.
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04-11-2017 16:57
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Bill Clinton denied having sexual relations with his intern because it was hugely embarrassing. Melania denies having sexual relations with Donald for the same reason.
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04-11-2017 16:06
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Like most hard working Americans, Trump should be allowed to fly a private jet to his personal golf course and palatial estate at the taxpayers expense without. Everyone getting crazy.
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04-11-2017 16:02
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I don't want our enemies to know what I am thinking, so I will keep my thought s between me and my millions of followers on twitter.
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04-11-2017 15:42
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It is gonna be awkward in the hall today when Jared runs into Sean and asks him what the holocaust Center is.
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04-11-2017 15:36
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Spicer can't concentrate long enough to intelligently discuss the holocaust. He needs to improve his concentration. Do they have camps for that?
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04-11-2017 15:35
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If the plan was to hire a press secretary so incompetent that it distracts people from the Administration's incompetence, then today was a very successful press conference indeed.
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04-11-2017 15:33
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Funny how effective Chicago police are if you havent commited any crimes.
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04-11-2017 13:52
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Sit back, relax and enjoy the fight... -United pilot welcoming passenger
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04-11-2017 10:59
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"Jesus Loves You" is a great thing to hear in Church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
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04-11-2017 09:52
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Where is the best place to work if you have one Leg?
IHOP

Typical Hillary/Obama supporters in san bernardino today. They all are very fragile these days.
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04-11-2017 00:48
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"If I get off , It will be on your face" - United passenger
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04-11-2017 00:43
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United Airlines... You Might get to fly and it shows.
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04-10-2017 22:16
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