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Bad news, A friend of mine fell into a reupholstering machine. Good news, Hes now recovered.
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04-19-2017 16:11
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Breaking news .. a White House to hire Bill O'Reilly and appoint him as chair of women's rights committee.
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04-19-2017 14:57
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How can Bill O'Reilly be fired. The President assured as he is a good guy and didn't do anything wrong.
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04-19-2017 14:47
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Much like the Atlanta Falcons, Aaron Hernandez choked in the end.
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04-19-2017 14:44
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Why is anybody sad about Aaron Hernandez killing himself? He is a murderer. It's funny how people act like he's an angel now.
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04-19-2017 12:28
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Aaron Hernandez's suicide just means 1 more Patriot wont be visiting the White House Today...
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04-19-2017 12:13 by
Migasjoe
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BREAKING NEWS: Aaron Hernandez out indefinitely with neck injury.
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04-19-2017 09:19 by
Gil
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Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
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04-19-2017 07:35
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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed and that is pretty close.
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04-18-2017 22:52 by
Zinc
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I promise you it wasn't special treatment. McDonald's makes me wait for my fries every damn time. Nice try playing the hero and all.
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04-18-2017 16:27 by
Creeooo
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They should change the sound of the new chip card machines . Make me panic and think my purchase was denied. Put a ding on on it or some thing make me think I won something
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04-18-2017 11:13 by
Robert DeLa Garza
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It's fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can't tell.
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04-18-2017 09:24
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In school I was always the teachers pet. I was like a pet cat though. They just woke me up when it was time to eat.
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04-17-2017 21:12 by
Glenn M
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ever look at somebodys feet and there toes look like Fritoes
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04-17-2017 20:48 by
flipphonescott
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All this talk about egg rolls is making me hungry for Chinese foood.
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04-17-2017 12:36
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I really hate it when people constantly need reassurance. You know what I mean?
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04-17-2017 12:04 by
Mr E
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And then Satan said "put the alphabet in math"
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04-17-2017 12:03 by
Mr E
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They made Paul McCartney and Elton John knights. What's the point if they aren't going to joust?
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04-17-2017 12:03 by
Mr E
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I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
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04-17-2017 12:02 by
Me E
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The pollen count is so high meth labs are busy trying to turn their meth back into Benadryl
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04-17-2017 12:01 by
Me E
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