Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 968 of 6383
NY and California have he highest number of inbred marriages and incest. So I would say ALOT.
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01-31-2017 09:30
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What do President Trump and Tony the Tiger have in common? They're both orange and make things GREEAAT!
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01-31-2017 07:57 by Mickey
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Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
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01-31-2017 07:39 by Mikey c
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Trump has chosen Mickey pence as his vice-president. Did anyone in their wildest dreams even imagine that Donald and Mickey would run America one day!? Walt Disney would be proud of this!
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01-31-2017 05:24
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Too F#CKED up how much of the population has been dumb down to march for rights you already have ! ! !
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01-31-2017 05:23 by JAB
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people with children should be allowed to do things while hiding from their children because children are mini terrorists.
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01-31-2017 00:41
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I'm writing this post from the Emergency Room, nothing to worry about. Just turns out my new Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I thought it was.
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01-30-2017 22:59
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Fun new drinking game for parents: Take a shot every time your child screams. Hahaha... Just kidding! Don't do this. You'll die.
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01-30-2017 18:09 by gremlinsd
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Noticed the guy in front of me making a right turn into a cemetery. Tried shouting at him that it's a dead end, but he wouldn't listen...
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01-30-2017 17:35 by TJW
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The American Dream is still Alive folks...You just can't do it as an employee or a Hillary
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01-30-2017 13:56 by Jitney
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South Americans. They gave the world coffee and tomatoes. It was all downhill from there.
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01-30-2017 12:43 by Mickey
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Canada: Compared to the USA, it's the North American equivalent to the kids' table at a holiday dinner.
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01-30-2017 12:35 by Mickey
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As long as the Doomsday Clock people are adjusting the clock for Trump, they should give it smaller hands.
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01-30-2017 09:44 by Blobama
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Remember the protests back in 2011 when Obama stopped the Iraqi refugees from entering the States for six months? Neither do I.
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01-30-2017 08:22 by Mickey
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If God gave you a good singing voice, you should sing loud in church to give thanks. And if God gave you a not-so-good singing voice, you should sing loud in church to get back at Him.
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01-30-2017 07:36
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These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
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01-30-2017 07:05 by Mike c
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Generic Frosted Flakes are Oooooooookay!
If I don't get at least one friend deletion on facebook every now and then, I feel as if I'm being all I can be.
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01-29-2017 21:51
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Remember when Sarah Palin was the dumbest person in politics? Good times......
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01-29-2017 19:25
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Can we put a door in the wall so I can still get my yard mowed?
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01-29-2017 16:11
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