Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 930 of 6446

This planet is serious messed up. 407,000 Americans died fighting fascism in world war 2. Now Trump is disrespecting those heroes by letting Nazis match across America.
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08-13-2017 20:16
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What's better than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
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08-13-2017 18:18
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Apparently calling a pair of conjoined twins "hipsters" is not cool.
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08-13-2017 09:50
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There's no way EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting. You know there was at least one guy hiding in a corner thinking "Man, I don't want none of this."
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08-12-2017 18:29
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Am I the only one who reads my spam email and after reading the subject line of one that says, "we have unclaimed funds got you", mutters, "yeah, sure you do."?
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08-12-2017 11:58 by Caleet
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Breaking News: North Korea missile test delayed due to problems with Windows 3.1x
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08-12-2017 07:27
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I just saw the neighbor's kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I'm thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn't supposed to.

I signed up for ancestry.com. I wouldn't be surprised if me results come back as 100% Budweiser.
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08-11-2017 22:04 by Cicci
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You know your girlfriend is horny when you put your hand up her skirt and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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08-11-2017 19:48
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North Korea has been threatening us for over 10 years. Nothing's going to happen as they know better. Just in case we should send them Dennis Rodman and let them keep him.
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08-11-2017 18:35
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Looks like all the funny kids are back in school...
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08-11-2017 18:09
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it me, or is *** an annoying prick for all his incomplete jokes? Go away *** you bother me!
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08-11-2017 17:39
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For a person who loves having a lot of gold things. That trump would have a golden retriever.
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08-11-2017 15:04
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To the people who are offended by this song...Well...let me tell you.. The Lady is a Tramp song by Frank Sinatra was a song written about my mother! Now,if you got a problem with thiat Then....Obviously that means you must have slept with her..

* A russian couple, Rudolf & Tosha are driving home. Tosha: Looks like it's starting to snow. Rudolf: It's rain. Tosha: no I think it's snow. Rudolf: Rudolf the "red" knows rain dear.
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08-11-2017 10:28 by ***
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I'm sure the white house has leaks....it's an old building
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08-11-2017 05:48 by Eddy
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* Kinky versus perverded kinky is useing a feather during sex. Perverded is useing the whole duck.
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08-11-2017 05:09 by *
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who gives a rat ass - nuttin we can do about it anyways
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08-11-2017 01:41
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I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.
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08-11-2017 00:49 by psycho
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* Reverend mother has been constipated for a week. The nuns tried home remedies without sussess. One nun said how about I go out to a bar. The other nuns ask how will that help ? She said if I go and come back drunk reverend mother will sh*t for sure.
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08-11-2017 00:29
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