Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Truth is truth. It does not need to be "balanced" and it isn't caused by voting, consensus, polls or by yelling louder or silencing someone.
←Rate | 08-30-2017 07:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time Houston was under this much water her first name was Whitney.
←Rate | 08-30-2017 07:31 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.
←Rate | 08-30-2017 00:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were so poor when I was a little boy that I had to share my sandbox with our cat.
←Rate | 08-30-2017 00:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do jews celebrate labor day or do they gotta be different like usual
←Rate | 08-29-2017 23:42 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon CNN money reported that the places trump won, represents 71% of the income tax from middle and lower class. L1bs hate them because they have a work ethic.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 23:36 by Hillbilly Comments (2)  


   messageicon The deplorables have been busy breeding right under our noses and now their populations is out of control, thats why Trump won.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 23:25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ray = Zubin Dalal
←Rate | 08-29-2017 23:24 Comments (1)  


   messageicon One thing's for sure. The residence in Texas now believes in global warming.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 22:48 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Clinton called people deplorable, obama called them clingers, terrorists call them infidel, trump called them americans. And they dont understand why he won.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in 1964 the wage was 5 silver quarters. Today 5 silver quarters are worth $15.50. We dont need to raise the wage, but to fix our money.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 19:25 by hillbilly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Socialism works so well, people build boats from trash to escape it.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 19:23 by Hillbilly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seattle raised the min wage to 15 a hour. Report out this week for the 1st period. Min wage workers now work 12 hours less and make 1500 less a month.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 19:21 by hillbily Comments (2)  


   messageicon If trump doesnt go to texas he is heartless, if he does go, he is taking valueable resources. I'm telling you it is a mental disorder.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 19:10 by Hillbilly Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does water have against Houston? First it was Whitney now this..!!
←Rate | 08-29-2017 17:18 by Kwhump Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beyonce is sending prayers to her hometown of Houston... I bet if Harvey was a BLM protester tearing things up she'd be sending bail money.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 14:57 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe that children are our future... ...it's why I got the vasectomy.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 14:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump condemns Hurricane Harvey for violence and devastation, but insists "Texans have provoked Mother Nature. There's blame on many sides."
←Rate | 08-29-2017 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, Hillary Duff and Beyonce say they are sending their prayers to Houston. I feel like such a jerk. All I sent was money.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 13:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip: Go the the gym on one of those 1 day free passes, take 365 selfies then post one every day.
←Rate | 08-29-2017 11:33 Comments (0)  




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