Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I'm not worried about the hurricane. Trump will stop it.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently people in Texas are not taking Hurricane Harvey seriously....well duh, what kind of stupid name is that?....We need to ghetto it up....like "Hurricane Shaniqua"....she will rip your weave out just for looking at her.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Carnival Cruise Lines just announced tomorrows ship departure has been moved to Gate 6A at Houston Intercontinental Airport...
←Rate | 08-25-2017 12:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What the lottery really is.. "Hey guys, lets pool all our money together and make someone a millionaire!!
←Rate | 08-25-2017 12:32 by Mr. K Comments (0)  


   messageicon M&M Mars are stupid if they don't shoot a commercial featuring Mayweather and McGregor.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 10:57 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish me luck. I'm about to tell this highway it's adopted.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 10:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe we need a wall along the gulf coast!!
←Rate | 08-25-2017 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that the same people who are upset about a sports announcer named Robert Lee were perfectly OK with a president whose middle name was Hussein?
←Rate | 08-25-2017 08:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No wife ever shot her husband for doing the dishes.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 07:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to let my kids do everything other parents are yelling at their kids to stop doing.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 06:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He's obviously an undercover cop.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 06:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Question: Why do they call hand-cuffs, hand-cuffs if they're placed on your wrists?
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I can't believe someone would willingly have the sex with some of you people
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:27 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't talk to me like I'm stupid until you know for sure.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "When I'm dead, I'd like you to buy a $9,000 box and throw it down a hole." - Humans
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 45 minutes ago I took a bite of celery. I'm still chewing.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drunk Me: "You have absolutely no fashion sense you wear nothing but brown every single day: UPS GUY: "Sir just sign for the package"
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon to the woman that won the powerball.."What's up baby"...
←Rate | 08-24-2017 19:26 by Sinned Comments (0)  


   messageicon Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 11:03 by Dp Comments (0)  




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